


Vegetation Before Meat

by Rubicon



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Dinosaurs, Crack, Dinosaurs, Gen, M/M, Other, Short One Shot, Vegetarians & Vegans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-20
Updated: 2014-07-20
Packaged: 2018-02-09 15:55:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1988928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubicon/pseuds/Rubicon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when you think you've seen everything, here is a Land Before Time version of Inception (okay, not nearly as cute or innocent); aka. Dino!Eames hitting on Dino!Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vegetation Before Meat

**Author's Note:**

> I can only apologize for what you are about to read. Also, my research on dinosaurs is minimal at best, so please forgive any inaccuracies. I did tag it as crack!

Arthur was minding his own business, chomping on leaves, when a dinosaur with a huge head and short arms crashed into him, knocking him sideways. Arthur wiggled his four legs and shouted angrily, "Are you kidding me?!"

"Oops, sorry," a voice near his butt said, sounding amused, and tiny little claws tugged at his tail.

"Stop it, you're making it worse!"

Who was stupid enough to tug at a Maiasaura's tail when it had fallen sideways and needed to get back to its feet? The tail was the most muscular part of his body, and was needed for balancing and to push himself off the ground! Arthur angrily rolled himself back up with a huff, and turned to glare at the stupid dinosaur that had interrupted his lunch. And promptly chocked on the leftover leaves in the back of his mouth.

"Oh dear, let me help," the dinosaur leaned forward, making as if to knock Arthur on his back to help with the chocking, only coming up short when it realized its arms were too stubby to reach.

"Hmm, short arms are rather annoying, aren't they?" the dinosaur said thoughtfully.

Arthur finished chocking and screeched (manfully, of course), "T-rex!"

The dinosaur, also known as a Tyrannosaurus Rex, tilted its head and replied, "I go by Eames, actually."

Arthur was about to slam his tail into the Tyrannosaurus Rex, aka. Eames, to use the element of surprise and escape, but before he could move, Eames said brightly, "And I'm a vegetarian T-rex."

"Vegetarian?" Arthur repeated, doubtfully.

"Yes, it means I don't eat meat," Eames answered cheerfully.

"I know what vegetarian means," Arthur narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, do you?" Eames continued to look amused, "You sounded rather confused."

"I'm not confused, I'm doubtful," Arthur snorted.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Eames looked delighted at the prospect. Arthur wondered if the dinosaur had suffered some damage as an egg. He'd heard that eggs that went through some sort of trauma often hatched strange dinosaurs. That would certainly explain the vegetarian thing.

"And what kind of vegetation does a vegetarian T-rex eat, exactly?" Arthur asked, still doubtful.

"Plants," Eames answered promptly.

"I'm going to need a little specificity," Arthur narrowed his eyes.

"Speci- what?" Eames smiled innocently.

"Specificity?" Arthur repeated.

At that moment, another dinosaur crashed into the clearing and Arthur gave up on a peaceful lunch. Why did dinosaurs have to go around crashing? Why couldn't they walk in a gentlemanly and orderly manner?

"Eames, there you are!" this new dinosaur panted, "I have concocted a wonderful new sauce to go on your salad!"

"Great, now a Troodon," Arthur sighed, "Let me guess, you're a vegetarian too?"

"No, I eat anything," the Troodon's eyes gleamed, "In fact, you look delicious."

"Yusuf, this is my friend..." Eames somehow managed look like he was raising an eyebrow at Arthur, despite not having any eyebrows.

"...Arthur," Arthur supplied reluctantly.

"Arthur," Eames emphasized, "Is not food. Though I am sure he is delicious, in a different way," Eames turned and sneered at Arthur rather sleazily.

Yusuf looked disappointed, but continued brightly, "Come, Eames! Let me show you what I mixed together. It should go wonderfully with a salad of flowers and leaves."

"Flowers and leaves?" Arthur snorted, "That sounds disgusting."

Eames followed Yusuf out of the clearing, but managed to turn and smirk before disappearing, "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."


End file.
